Peaceful Unpeacefulness

I now know my life is peaceful and harmonious.*
As I contemplated this affirmation, it didn't feel right to me. My internal dialogue about it was something like, "but it's not always peaceful and harmonious! and how can i know that it is, or even that it isn't? what do any of us really know?"
I was thinking that I'd resonate more with something like, "I now invite peace and harmony into my life."

But during a discussion about something else with a couple of women the other day, I ended up talking myself into agreeing with the original affirmation. I heard myself say something about being at peace with disharmony. And that's when the light bulb went on. I then knew that my life is peaceful and harmonious, as long as I am at peace with experiencing times of unpeacefulness and disharmony. And how to be at peace with no peace? How to feel harmony amidst disharmony? Perhaps it's about acceptance and non-judgment. And looking at the bigger picture. Riding the waves. And trusting in the process.

And that seems to lead right into the next affirmation:
I see the larger patterns within and around me.

And what I shared above was the manifestation of: I open up to new insights.

What were the other affirmations?

I affirm the strength of bamboo.
I am an evolving soul.
I am one with Tao.
I respect myself and the process.
I harmonize with nature and all others in my world.
I accept greater peace in my life now.
And so it is.

Oh, that's funny. Now I see that by focusing in on the first one, I missed how the affirmations that followed would have helped me come to the conclusion that the first one didn't need any editing to begin with! But I'm glad I focused in on it, because, in the end, it did lead me to a deeper understanding.

So now that I'm not going to stick to my original plan of going through this line by line, I want to revisit the idea of being at peace with lack of peace (is unpeacefulness a word? doesn't look or sound right....). What I want to look at here is how this relates to an email I received the other day, in which a friend shared that he was using present moment awareness to "skip drama." Yes! If we're present with what's happening, regardless of what's happening or the emotions they're stirring up, there's less likelihood that it will escalate into something that could be labeled as "drama." Does that make sense? I just lost my flow a little, as my hosts just woke up and came into the room.....Focus....And better wrap this up....

So, I think that's all. Be at peace with lack of peace. In harmony with disharmony. Observe what's going on and what you're feeling when drama threatens to take over. It doesn't need to be dramatic. It doesn't need to be a big deal. It just is what it is. Even if it is unpeaceful/disharmonious/drama. ;)



*Affirmations are at the end of Chapter 1 in The Tao of Inner Peace.

Love at First Read

My first encounter with Taoism was at the age of 17, following a nearly fatal, highly traumatic, car accident. It had taken a year for depression to hit, as I was so focused on healing physically, and catching up in school, that I pretty much had to be in denial and over-focused on the positive.  And when depression hit, I didn't want to take medication. So my accupuncturist recommended a book called "Healing with Whole Foods" by Paul Pitchford. I loved learning about nutrition from a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) Five Element Theory perspective. I loved the concepts of Yin and Yang. I loved the thought of letting nature be my guide. I wanted to learn more, and so I turned to a book called "The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity" by Daniel P. Reid. And I was hooked. Totally in love with Taoism. I yearned to be a Taoist hermit and in my college Chinese Philosophy course, I wrote about the challenges of practicing taoism while still in college. I actually came to the conclusion that I needed to get more doing, doing doing out of my system; I hadn't yet grasped the concepts of balance, harmony, and middle path. And so to some extent I abandoned Taoism, though still resonated with it and thought of it frequently. Somehow I had convinced myself that deeply immersing myself in the study and practice of taoism was not appropriate at that time in my life, at least not if I wanted to enjoy and participate in all the things that college had to offer. And yet, I still didn't enjoy or participate in many things. It was as if I couldn't fully embrace one way or the other way of being. Caught somewhere in the middle, but not on the middle path. On and off one path and then the other. Alternating. Going from one extreme to another.....

Thirteen years have passed since I was first introduced to Taoism. Last week I picked up this book that had been sitting on my shelf: "The Tao of Inner Peace." I had a feeling I should take it with me on this trip I was about to take. And as I started reading it on the plane, as I started contemplating the quotes and affirmations, and the self-assessments that the author, Diane Dreher, provides, I felt I'd been reunited with a first love, and I felt that the time was right, now, to continue on this path, to rededicate myself to an exploration of the tao and te of me. And to document it, and so I am, here in this blog.

My intention is to read the book slowly, really take my time with it, and share my reflections here. And so I will. For as long as it feels right, as long as it's in alignment. Excited and curious to see how this all unfolds! For all I know, this and the other one I'm about to post, will be my only entries!