Beginning the Journey, Day 1

Wrote this on the plane, Sunday, January 10, 2010:

Tao of Inner Peace

Ch. 1, Day 1 (1.10.10)

“Beginning the Journey” is the name of the 1st Chapter. How fitting considering that I started reading it while sitting on a plane that’s about to take flight, and considering that a few days ago I received the keys to a new apartment and also said goodbye to my lover. Plus, it’s a new year, with some new and clear intentions. So let the journey begin!

This chapter begins with:
A tree that reaches past your embrace grows from one small seed.
A structure over nine stories high begins with a handful of earth.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. (Tao 64)

The author suggests contemplating the opening quotes and asking how it relates to me.

I read Tao 64 as "you gotta start somewhere....baby steps...it all adds up...growth starts small, takes time...trust in the process."

***The plane is taking off for Oakland now. Wee!***

After the quote, the author asks, "how did you begin your search for peace?"

For me it began with a nearly fatal car accident at the age of 16. A year later, I was depressed, didn't want medication, and so my acupuncturist turned me onto "Healing With Whole Foods" which lead me to "The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity." I resonated with Taoism immediately. Those 2 books were like life rafts for me. And yet it's been quite awhile since i have consciously studied the Tao, been awhile since I've read any books on it. So now I begin again. Recommitting. Reconnecting. Reminding myself of what I already know, what is true, what is Tao, what is Te. (and will define tao and te next time, perhaps...)

The self-assessment in this chapter is about identifying any areas of my life in which I am not at peace:
Body: actually pretty at peace within my body. sugar cravings have subsided. still some aches and pains, but mostly at peace. feeling more and more comfortable in and happy with my body than ever before, for sure.
Career: Happy with the freedom and the work itself, but sometimes stressed and insecure about not "enough" clients or students. Wondering how much of the lack of peace comes from what others say and think-- sometimes I want more work because I'm passionate about what I do, but sometimes it's out of some sort of need to prove that if I didn't have the finances to supplement my income, I could still make enough to live how I want to live.
Relationships: Yes, actually more at peace than I've felt in quite some time. Ready for love, for a long-term monogamous relationship, and ready in a peaceful and patient way. Phew! I also love all the new relationships that have recently come into my life through dance. And also the ways in which old friendships and relationships with family and exes have deepened or gently ended. Happy to be able to communicate well and connect with others, cultivating healthy relationships in personal and professional life.
Finances: Pretty peaceful, and very grateful. Sometimes feel concerned, but am good at reminding myself that I always have more than enough.
Myself: some ups and downs here, but mostly at peace. Although, this might be one of the least at peace aspects. there is still this deeply ingrained sense of pressure or obligation, so a feeling of "not being good enough" sometimes manifests in unhealthy decisions, behaviors, over-doing, etc.
World: at peace. but maybe that's because i don't really follow the news!

So, I think I'm least at peace with "myself," but that's not even so bad. So, this is good! I'm pretty at peace. Despite the ups and down, which I've learned are a natural part of the process--- and that is a key teaching of Taoism: ups and downs, and it's all an ongoing process. So, wow! I've really come a long way.

Ooooh, and here's another thing I'm familiar with that's being mentioned in this chapter: seeing crisis as opportunity. Yes! Very familiar with this one. Perhaps more on that another time....

Just in this first reading of Chapter 1, I am seeing now that although I haven't been reading about the Tao, or contemplating Taoism consciously, I actually have been practicing it, becoming more and more Taoist. I think my Sheng Zhen Qigong practice, and the life coaching from Laura Lavigne I've received, and the support of wise friends/family/teachers have all helped me tremendously, keeping me on the path and learning to ride the waves. :) Awesome!