Beginning the Journey, again

This is my 3rd morning waking up in Santa Cruz. Waking up to Word coming upstairs for his marathon series of daily practices. Staying in a house with 4 lovely beings who are studying Taoism and Qigong (in a school setting even!) is inspirational and comes at the perfect time for me. Speaking of inspiration, I heard from an old friend that this blog inspired him to meditate. That is SO cool. My heart is happy. And, to be quite honest, I can't deny that there's some ego here too; it is feeling something like relief, with a thought like, "one person's been inspired. phew! this blog rebecca's writing is actually "worthwhile." Ha! Hmmmm....ego. So much stigma around that word. I've gotta write about ego sometime. There's a blog entry that's been brewing over the past week or so questioning what a "healthy adult ego" is, if there even is such a thing. But that's for another time, or not...Back to the Tao...

So, I've been sitting with and walking with the 1st chapter of The Tao of Inner Peace these past few days. On a walk with Word I was noticing the trees more so than usual, noticing their height, in awe of how they started as small seeds. Admiring their strength and how they just know what to do without a bunch of internal and external dialogue about what or how to do things; they just grow! Some shed their leaves. Some shed their bark. No decisions to be made; it just happens. Naturally and over time. It just is. They just are.

As I write that I think of my tendency towards stressing over decision-making, especially decisions that pertain to travel and personal/spiritual growth opportunities (although isn't everything a growth opportunity?). The word "opportunity" even sounded like a "bad" word at times. How crazy is that?! Placing way too much importance on things. Trying to predict the future. Silly human! But that is what I am: human.

And so I take a step back and forgive myself. Smile at myself. Laugh at myself, with compassion, of course!

-- Oh wow! I just picked up the book and opened up randomly to page 24, and what do I see? This: "How long has it been since you really laughed at something?" Ha! How about right now? Plenty of laughter recently. But this question is in Chapter 3, so will revisit it again when I get there.

I was looking for the end of Chapter 1. I realized that I've been processing the 1st chapter, except for the affirmation at the end. Haven't looked at it since Sunday on the plane:

I now know my life is peaceful and harmonious.
I see the larger patterns within and around me.
I open up to new insights.
I affirm the strength of bamboo.
i am an evolving soul.
I am one with Tao.
I respect myself and the process.
I harmonize with nature and all others in my world.
I accept greater peace in my life now.
And so it is.

Hmmmm, well, it seems some of those lines stuck with me and some did not. It is tempting to go through each one and write whatever they inspire me to write, and perhaps I will, but not right now. My body says it's time to get up and move around, and I'm learning not only to listen to my body, but to act in accordance with its guidance. And so I will.