A few weeks ago I was praised for my "blatant honesty and no holds barred attitude." My immediate silent response was, "I just don't have the time or energy for anything else." And that reminded me of a portion of The Tao of Inner Peace, in Chapter 2, in which Diane Dreher writes: "Men and women of Tao seek truth above all else. They have no time for pretense." [p.15] I also like this line: "Te means choosing truth above ego." [p.14]
I certainly haven't transcended ego, but I've always been a big advocate of the truth. As a little girl, as a teenager, and now. I rarely even think about it; speaking the truth comes naturally, and I always seek it from others even if it might upset me. What doesn't always come naturally though is knowing the truth. What's the truth? What's my truth? (And if you're familiar with Byron Katie's work: Is anything even true?!;))
I've been stuck on Chapter 2: Tao and Te for more than a month now. "Stuck" sounds negative, but I don't mean it like that. I think I've been lingering here for so long partially because of the explanation of the symbol for Te: "It's Chinese symbol combines the signs for "to go," "straight," and "the heart."And I think understanding more about, and cultivating te, will help me (already has been helping me), act and speak from the heart, to know what's true in the moment.
There are a couple of practices in my life that help me get in touch with my heart, speak my truth, be in the moment, and go with the flow: Continuum Movement and Sheng Zhen Qigong.
Sheng Zhen Qigong, the qigong of unconditional love, was what first started opening my heart. I hadn't even realized how closed off it was. I actually knew I was closed off, but I didn't realize that a movement and meditation practice could crack me open so gently and so deeply. Totally changed my life. And I am so grateful. Continuing to go deeper with this practice. And it's fun to see how Continuum and Qigong compliment one another too. In Qigong, the body is being moved by qi (well, after the mind gets out of the way, if it ever does!). In Continuum, the body is being moved by sound vibration and fluid (body is mostly fluid) (at least that's how I understand it). Continuum, like Sheng Zhen Qigong, has also deepened my connection with my heart.
I was recently at a Continuum workshop with a focus on the heart, breath, and grief. One of the exercises involved placing my hands on my heart and really feeling inside myself, deeply connecting with the physical organ, seeing if my heart could feel my hands and if my hands could feel my heart. Since then I've felt a shift-- actually the shift started in January at another workshop, but this one deepened my connection with my heart. In January the exercise had to do with really sensing, feeling, perceiving from the heart. Since then I've felt different. More in my body. Calmer. Quieter inside. Less fear. More love. More alive.
And all of this-- the qigong, the continuum, reading the tao of inner peace-- plus a recent death in the family and a friend in the hospital--- it's all been helping me quiet my mind, calm down, listen to my heart, and see and hear what's really important, and then speak my truth whether through words and action or just through action. Walking the talk as best I can....Because life's too short for anything less than blatant honesty and living as authentically and fully as possible.
Showing posts with label Diane Dreher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diane Dreher. Show all posts
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Tao of Yoda
Rereading Chapter 2 of "The Tao of Inner Peace." It says Te is about not trying but doing. This reminds me of Yoda saying, "Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'"
A couple of years ago it occurred to me that if I said I was "trying" something, it was like setting myself up for failure, not doing or liking the thing, lack of follow-through, half-assed attempt, etc. It was like an acknowledgment but then also rebellion against that inner knowing that whatever it was that I was "merely trying" wasn't right for me. Or perhaps just fear to fully dive in to something that was/is right for me....So I became very aware of word choice. Sometimes another word, such as "exploring," really fit better than "trying." ---- Ha! It's occurring to me now that by focusing more on semantics I missed the whole point, which was to listen to that inner knowing! Funny how I trick myself into and out of things when deep down I really know better....
Dreher writes that "tao people have no time for half-hearted attempts." And why bother doing anything half-heartedly, I wonder. It's not good for me or for anyone else involved. I'm feeling the need to pay more attention to this in my life.
There's an exercise in this chapter that asks you to look at any areas in your life where you've been holding back, trying instead of doing (p.19). This is really relevant in my life right now, as I think about living life to the fullest, in integrity, and as I contemplate leaving Anacortes, moving back to Seattle, and focusing on finishing my book and starting another one before I even think about putting any energy into building up my business in Seattle. To just leap, knowing that the net will appear. For years I've been saying I want to write a book. Never used the word "try," but it's definitely an area in my life in which I've been holding back.
Dreher poses the questions:
What would happen if you really committed yourself?
Have you been afraid of failure or success?
What would happen if you failed?
What changes would success bring to your life?
"Ask yourself if you really WANT to follow through with this activity. If so, stop trying. Do it."
I feel I'm being spoken to here, and it's time to listen. What would happen if I really committed myself to writing? Well, there's only one way to find out. So that's what I'm going to do. Time to give notice to my clients and students in Anacortes. Time to replace my seemingly broken printer. Time to commit to writing. I've also been talking about "trying" out living in Seattle again, before deciding to make the full move. But I don't need to try. I need to do. I don't have time to try. Just time to do. Life is short, and I've just been reminded of this, as my grandfather was just admitted to hospice yesterday, and as I visited a friend at the hospital this morning, and as I've often wondered what I'd do if I only had a year to live. Writing a book is the main thing that comes to mind. Since I did face death 14 years ago, I've lived my life pretty darn well. But now it's time to crank it up a notch. So, here I go. Taking the leap. Diving in.
A couple of years ago it occurred to me that if I said I was "trying" something, it was like setting myself up for failure, not doing or liking the thing, lack of follow-through, half-assed attempt, etc. It was like an acknowledgment but then also rebellion against that inner knowing that whatever it was that I was "merely trying" wasn't right for me. Or perhaps just fear to fully dive in to something that was/is right for me....So I became very aware of word choice. Sometimes another word, such as "exploring," really fit better than "trying." ---- Ha! It's occurring to me now that by focusing more on semantics I missed the whole point, which was to listen to that inner knowing! Funny how I trick myself into and out of things when deep down I really know better....
Dreher writes that "tao people have no time for half-hearted attempts." And why bother doing anything half-heartedly, I wonder. It's not good for me or for anyone else involved. I'm feeling the need to pay more attention to this in my life.
There's an exercise in this chapter that asks you to look at any areas in your life where you've been holding back, trying instead of doing (p.19). This is really relevant in my life right now, as I think about living life to the fullest, in integrity, and as I contemplate leaving Anacortes, moving back to Seattle, and focusing on finishing my book and starting another one before I even think about putting any energy into building up my business in Seattle. To just leap, knowing that the net will appear. For years I've been saying I want to write a book. Never used the word "try," but it's definitely an area in my life in which I've been holding back.
Dreher poses the questions:
What would happen if you really committed yourself?
Have you been afraid of failure or success?
What would happen if you failed?
What changes would success bring to your life?
"Ask yourself if you really WANT to follow through with this activity. If so, stop trying. Do it."
I feel I'm being spoken to here, and it's time to listen. What would happen if I really committed myself to writing? Well, there's only one way to find out. So that's what I'm going to do. Time to give notice to my clients and students in Anacortes. Time to replace my seemingly broken printer. Time to commit to writing. I've also been talking about "trying" out living in Seattle again, before deciding to make the full move. But I don't need to try. I need to do. I don't have time to try. Just time to do. Life is short, and I've just been reminded of this, as my grandfather was just admitted to hospice yesterday, and as I visited a friend at the hospital this morning, and as I've often wondered what I'd do if I only had a year to live. Writing a book is the main thing that comes to mind. Since I did face death 14 years ago, I've lived my life pretty darn well. But now it's time to crank it up a notch. So, here I go. Taking the leap. Diving in.
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